Develop Your Skills

Credit Crunch - A new era of financial turmoil is upon us

Recent economic conditions require a new definition of a number of financial and business terms. This tongue in cheek humorous dictionary explains both the original term and a new alternative meaning for modern times. An essential comical read for anyone involved or interested in the world of commerce, finance, industry and investment.

A 100 page downloadable book, that is bound to bring a smile to your face.

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Here are a few examples from the book

Baby bond

A bond with a maturity or face value of less than a certain amount

 

Alternative meaning

An investment that will grow to be a pain for the next twenty years and ends up costing you more and more

 

 

Due diligence

The internal audit of a target firm by the acquiring firm

 

Alternative meaning

Diligence that was due but arrived too late

 

 

Flip side

In the context of general equities it is the opposite side to a proposition or position (to buy if sell is the proposition and vice versa)

 

Alternative meaning

When the only alternative or option is to work in a burger bar

 

 

Gross earnings

A person's total taxable income prior to adjustments

 

Alternative meaning

The generic name given to executive salaries, incomes and bonuses

 

 

Hedge fund

A fund that employs a variety of techniques to enhance returns, such as both buying and shorting stocks, according to a valuation model

 

Alternative meaning

A fund where the value of its assets are worth less than the gardens and plants of the investors within the fund

 

 

Junk bond

Junk or high-yield bonds that offer investors higher yields than bonds of more financially sound companies

 

Alternative meaning

A bond whose average return is flat like the bottom of the Chinese boat with that same name

 

 

LIBOR

London Interbank Offered Rate

 

Alternative meaning

Ludicrous Interest Banks Ordinarily Request

 

 

Market jitters

When a particular financial market becomes nervous about the current situation and often responds wildly to the smallest changes in sentiment

 

Alternative meaning

An investment condition where ones needs to visit the toilet on a frequent basis

 

 

Mystery shopper

A person hired by a market research firm or a manufacturer to visit retail stores, posing as a casual shopper to collect information

 

Alternative meaning

That hard to get customer during a recession

 

 

Par

The nominal or face value printed on a security

 

Alternative meaning

The act of leaving work early to play golf

 

 

Relative value

The attractiveness measured in terms of risk, liquidity and return of one instrument relative to another

 

Alternative meaning

The assets and future income available from parents and relatives

 

 

Stakeholders

All parties that have an interest, financial or otherwise, in a project or company

 

Alternative meaning

Groups of shareholders with wooden stakes in their hands who are out to get the blood sucking financial vampires who took their money

 

 

Stripped bond

Bond that can be subdivided into a series of zero coupon bonds

 

Alternative meaning

Assets that are invested in adult clubs and bars

 

 

Taxable event

An event or transaction that has a tax consequence, such as the sale of an asset that is subject to capital gains taxes

 

Alternative meaning

Everything that you do from the moment you wake up in the morning

 

 

Ex dividend (XD)

The stock is trading with no dividend

 

Alternative meaning

The money that is agreed and paid to an ex partner or spouse in settlement of a relationship dispute

© Derek Owen 2008. All rights reserved